There are always winners at the Academy Awards, but there are no real losers among the top nominees, even when they fail to score the gilded Oscar.
That’s because win or lose, Best Actor, Best Actress and Best Director nominees get a gift bag filled with high-priced luxury swag worth somewhere between $200,000 and $250,000.
The gift bags, assembled by Distinctive Assets, a Los Angeles company, include items ranging from the practical (clothing, travel, car rentals, etc.) to the, ahem, downright intimate.
Here are six of the more outré, eyebrow-raising offerings:
The Nuelle Fiera Arouser for Her, a device that purports to be “scientifically proven to enhance physical arousal and increase interest in sex.” The $250 (U.S.) device is meant to be worn and used as a “pre-hancer” before intimacy, employing “gentle suction and stimulation” to increase sexual arousal. It’s a hands-free device that’s eco-friendly because it’s made of body-safe materials and uses rechargeable batteries.
The Vampire Breast Lift. From the doctor who brought you the Vampire Face Lift — made famous by a lurid selfie of a blood-smeared Kim Kardashian — comes a $1,900 procedure that uses blood drawn from the patient, which is then centrifuged to extract platelet-rich plasma. The blood is then reinjected to “reshape” and “round out” the breasts. The 15-minute procedure is virtually pain-free and, according to Cosmo, the results are noticeable within days, with full effects expected within two months.
Joseph’s Toiletries “The Welcomer” includes six packs — not rolls — of the “most soothing and absorbent toilet paper in the world” for $275 (U.S.) The Swiss company’s motto is Perfect Hygiene Starts From the Bottom Up and its website notes: “Each individual sheet is a multi-layered microcosm of form and function constructed with comfort and cleanliness in mind. Tender virgin new-growth fibres are refined with a provitamin B5 and essential mineral coating to provide maximum skin protection even in dry use.”
Three private sessions with Jay Cardiello, the self-styled “celebrity wellness expert” and star of ABC’s My Diet Is Better Than Yours. Cost: $1,400 (U.S.). The creator of the No Diet Plan “uses his extensive knowledge of nutritional science, exercise medicine and empathetic, motivational listening to accomplish a single goal — to improve the ‘quality-time’ of your life — in a way that is fun and achievable,” according to his website. Clients include Jennifer Lopez, Ryan Seacrest, Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson and Sofia Vergara.
Personalized M&M’s: $300. Candy is dandy, but it’s extra special when you get to choose up your own colours from a palette that includes dark pink, gold, electric green, platinum and aqua, a selection not generally available to the hoi polloi. While you’re at it, you can add an image, clip art or text, and select your own packaging.
A lifetime supply of skin creams from Lizora of L.A. for a mere $31,200. Among the company’s top sellers: Pu-erh Tea Nourishing Cream, a “best kept 2000 years (sic) old secret,” purportedly from the Himalayas and with only 11 natural ingredients, which may or may not include Moroccan Rose and North American Sweet Orange.