No Canadians should publish Charlie Hebdo...
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Jan 09, 2015  |  Vote 0    0

No Canadians should publish Charlie Hebdo cartoons: Mallick

It’s possible to decry the killings in Paris without reproducing Charlie Hebdo’s broad cartoons that offended many

OurWindsor.Ca

I hope no Canadian media — especially not the CBC — reproduce any Charlie Hebdo cartoons mocking Muslims, and not just because Ezra Levant, carrier of the virus C. Ezraidiotium, has published anti-Muslim cartoons and look at the man, just look at him. I worry that they’d feel obligated to show the magazine’s broad cartoons offending women, Jews and Catholics, or maybe rehire Jian Ghomeshi because he hasn’t been convicted of anything, yet.

It would never end, a chain of attempted fairness that would make everyone miserable. It wouldn’t make any publication an “equal-opportunity offender,” as pompous commentators have been urging in their “we must all” columns since the murders in France. It would make it simply beyond the pale. It is unsuited to our tolerant and courteous landscape.

Much as readers are horrified at the French attacks — which I doubt have ended — those cartoons aren’t being reprinted here out of simple human decency.

B.C. Conservative MP Dan Albas, a former martial arts store owner in Penticton, said the CBC should show the images, arguing that the Rick Mercer Report, This Hour Has 22 Minutes and the Royal Canadian Air Farce have used satire “to poke comedic fun” for “comedic interpretation.”

Who talks like that? And who thinks the Air Farce was funny, ever? Jason Kenney agreed in a mysterious tweet about urine, which should end the matter right there.

But I salute Albas for sending me to Rick Mercer, whose ad for Stephen Harper’s “Miracle Closet Panic Organizer” made me laugh out loud about a fact, a Canadian fact.

Our prime minister hid in a closet during the October shooting on Parliament Hill.

Just thinking about it makes me want to go into therapy. Doctor, it made me want to rent a prime minister, preferably from Norway. Ex-PM Jens Stoltenberg is very attractive man. He is natty. After bombs went off and children were slaughtered on an island, Stoltenberg avoided cupboards. He went outdoors and spoke.

Mercer, wearing a pencil mustache, was selling hard. “Do you have a messy closet where you can’t find anything? There just never seems to be enough space for all your stuff . . . and a prime minister to hide.”

“Hang your shirts. Store your hats. Hide your prime minister,” said Mercer. “It’s as easy as it is slightly sad.”

There was Harper in the fetal position, Harper behind the dress shirts, Harper supine, Harper prone, Harper ruining perfectly good leather loafers with his salty tears. At this point, I would take Sarkozy as PM, and I despise Sarkozy.

I would not hide under attack. I would protect co-workers shorter than me (no one is shorter than me). Even though I’m a physical chicken, I would stand my intellectual ground.

So I was astounded to hear that gun-loving Alberta MLA Rob Anderson, who crossed the floor from the now-tiny Wildrose Party to the governing Conservatives, is not seeking re-election after receiving death threats. They weren’t even as violent as the ones I regularly get. Alberta has always been my biggest source of death and torture threats, after Texas and Florida. But Anderson, a grown man of the extreme right, gave up. I found this so odd. I may hide behind office security guards but I still type.

I just don’t type about religion. As a humanist, I have a deep resistance to it, to the point where my neck bends like a week-old cut tulip when I hear religious references. I nod off. I still don’t know who killed “Jesus.” I’m guessing the Romans. My only religious text is Monty Python’s Life of Brian. But I don’t aim to offend the religious and they do the same for me.

Closet PM Harper is an evangelical Christian. He said Friday that he is “looking at additional powers to make sure that our security agencies have the range of tools available to them to identify potential terror threats and to . . . (undertake) detentions and arrests and other actions where necessary.”

This will mean even more detention without trial or the increased ability to hold citizens without evidence for days, all the things that Britain does, only reined in by a distressed judiciary. These measures would betray our democracy. They are a cowardly way of piggy-backing on the French crisis. They’re a moral defeat.

Put them back in your closet, Mr. Harper, along with your G-20 fisherman outfits, John Baird’s undershirts, Kenney’s fur onesie, Peter MacKay’s assault-rifle sweater and your his-and-his matching camouflage helmets.

This is no time to overcompensate for the closet debacle, no time to publish racist cartoons and pose as a man o’war.

Toronto Star

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